It’s Just Me

My Greatest Struggle 1

It’s just me…  LORD willing, I will turn 43 this year. And while I have been able to have a number of accomplishments behind my name, lately none of those things have mattered much. Perhaps, it’s a new phase I’m entering due to my age, which has necessitated a re-structuring of the priorities in my life. But I came to the conclusion a month-or-so ago that part of my identity was wrapped up in my accomplishments… and yes… even in my failures.

Sure, there are still things on my Bucket List I would love to do before I die; but part of me was becoming frustrated because they have yet to happen. There are cities and countries I want to visit, people I want to meet and things I want to create! But I realized it is not good to get wrapped up in the unseen future of what could be. Nor is it good to be wrapped up in ‘romanticizing’ what was. To do both or either is to live  at the expense of What Is.

This is why this post is titled, “It’s Just Me.” What matters is who I am today and what God has blessed me with TODAY. If I am faithful with my TODAY (relationships and opportunities) then tomorrow will work out and I will also learn from my yesterdays. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6: 31-34,

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

At the end of the day, my accomplishments and failures do not define me. Sure, they may play a role in the quality of my earthly physical existence, but God’s LOVE through his SON is what defines me. So, whether I reach the mountaintops of my aspirations or if they crash and burn in the valley. If my life is lived in a way that pleases God – where He gets central focus and glory and directs my pursuits (in whatever areas He allows) then my life is worth living.

And with the way the world is going, it would be good to re-evaluate the meaning of life in order to live life on purpose and not by accident. Jesus says in Luke 12: 15,

“Take care! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of possessions.”

You are more than your failures and your successes! You are more than what you possess and what you’ve had to throw away. In Christ Jesus, you are made valuable in a way barely imaginable. To live from that perspective and truth changes everything. It makes you free to be who God wants you to be – free from the fear of wondering how situations will turn out… free to act in a way that honors God, helps your neighbors and yourself.

Now, I’m not saying that I’ve reached this level with any type of regularity. Spurts here and there? Sure. Moments of glorious clarity? Absolutely. 24 hour consistency? No where close. (I still make mistakes and deal with my own selfishness.) But I do know Freedom is available to those who diligently seek God. Yes, the journey is just as important as the destination! Here’s one Scripture verse which gives me hope. Philippians 1: 6,

“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

God has begun a good work in me through the life, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I am not perfect. I am not completed.  There is still so much room to GROW! I’m still wrestling with understanding this apparently new phase of my life. But God is patiently shaping and molding and conforming me into the image of His Son! (Romans 8: 29)

What about you? Are you satisfied with being “just you”? Or are you busy chasing after things which may be good, but will never truly satisfy?

So, it’s just me. A person still “in the process of becoming…” Thanks for reading.

-Allen Paul Weaver III-

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