Helping Our Young Black Men-Part 3

Click here to read Part 1 and Part 2

I had the opportunity to meet a young black male over the weekend while I was in California at the 168 Hour Film Festival .  His name was LaMar and he was 15 years old.  What struck me immediately was that when his grandmother introduced us to one another, he looked me straight in the eyes, gave me a firm handshake and called me ‘Sir’.  "Did he just call me, Sir?"  When he did these things, I immediately thought to myself, "Now this young man has been given some real training."

A Positive Attitude…

Having a positive attitude in life will definitely open the door of opportunity for you.  Most of life is about our perception, how we perceive the events and situations we face.  How we view our circumstances dictates how we respond to our surroundings.  No one wants to be around someone who’s angry or negative all the time.  No one wants to work with someone who is gifted and talented, but arrogant.  However, everyone wants to work with someone who’s teachable.  That’s right… teachable.  Why?  Because if you can be teachable, then you can learn how to overcome the vices in your life and genuinely grow and develop.  If you haven’t learned how to fully actualize your gifts and talents, don’t let that stop you.  Have a positive attitude and be willing to learn.  And others will open doors for you to develop.  Just be ready to walk through those doors when they open.  Trust me, I found myself wanting to help this young man and I look forward to the day when I can.

The Deep Issue…

But this also raises another issue… so many young black men (and older males too) don’t receive adequate training (from our fathers or other men in our lives) to deal with the issues of life.  Now I’m not saying that we can’t learn from women - I learned a lot from my mother that makes me a better man today, but there are things that are more easily learned from other men.  Just like there are some things that girls can more easily learn from women.

Many of us young and older men are limited in our emotional, spiritual, intellectual and physical repertoire (the range of techniques, abilities, or skills that somebody has).  We only know how to deal with pressure one or two ways… We either clam up or we lash out.  Kevin Powell’s book, The Black Male Handbook: A Blueprint For Life , addresses these and other issues.  This is an excellent resource that every black male should read.  Seriously.

The Power of Communication…

And this is the point I want to make:  Many black males don’t know how to openly discuss their issues, so the pressure builds inside of them. If they can’t manage this internal pressure, then they become self-destructive.  Think about it, when boys get hurt, we tell them to ’suck it up and be a man.’  As if men don’t get hurt and need to work through the trauma of their hurts.  Somehow we see showing emotion as a sign of weakness and femininity…  When we, as men in general and black men in particular, get to the point where we are living a self-destructive lifestyle, we aren’t the only ones affected.  Some develop suicidal tendencies.  Others begin to abuse the women in their lives or other men who they perceive to be weaker than themselves.  We don’t suffer in a vacuum.  Someone always pays the price for our ’sucking up’ trauma.

This is one reason why I wrote my first book, Transition: Breaking Through the Barriers. Because I was compelled to share the story of my internal struggles in order to help others and to help relieve my own pressure.  This is also one of the reasons why I wrote my second book, Speedsuit Powers .  It’s a novel that’s geared towards urban youth and tackles several serious issues.  It’s a deliberate attempt to help open up constructive dialogue built around a compelling and fast-paced story that has action, adventure, comedy, drama and faith, with a hint of romance.  (The book launches in August, so be on the lookout).

Don’t Be Fooled…

And don’t be fooled by the stereotypical tough exterior - I’ve never met another man who didn’t want to talk about the issues they were dealing with.  They may not have talked, but it wasn’t because they didn’t want to (deep down on the inside) but rather they didn’t know ‘how’ to or felt that it wasn’t ’safe’ to talk.  What we, as black males need, is the space and opportunity to talk about our issues so that we can gain freedom from our issues.  Having a positive mindset when we interact with others will help open up doors of opportunity for internal/external examination and growth.

As an effort to stimulate discussion, I want you to watch this 5 minute video entitled "Safe."  It’s from a poem that’s in my first book, Transition.  Let me know which issues in the video resonate with you.

The Power of Mentoring…

I started this post talking about the 168 Hour Film Festival.  There were several short films which addressed issues faced by black males in particular and teens in general.  One was entitled, ‘Shades of Gray’.  The storyline took place during the Integration period in U.S. history when blacks and whites were slowly allowed to use the same public facilities.  It was about a racist boss who learns to stand up for black teen.  The second was called ‘The Test’.  Which was about a young black male whose college prospects hang on him getting the right answers on his S.A.T.’s.  The third was a documentary called, ‘God Moves’ which followed a hip hop dance troupe who also shared their faith in Christ.  There was also another film called ‘Chinese Antique’ which dealt with male issues from an Asian perspective.  These are great stories, all of which dealt with the power that mentoring has to help young people advance in life.  What’s even more exciting is that 168 provided an opportunity for these youth (many of them in high school) to learn, develop their gifts and talents and express themselves!  It will be good to see where these films end up and the doors they open to help young people see new possibilities and mature in their purpose.

How do we help our young black men?  The answer is simple, although the application of the answer is a little more complex… we spend time with them. :-)

Let me know what you think.

-Allen Paul Weaver III-

Tagged with: • • • • • • •

Filed under: Articles • Risks and Opportunities • Self-Help • Youtube Video

Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!