Fri 4 Apr 2008
(’Who Am I?’ Photo taken by Larry Reid. 2007)
What can we do to help our young Black men? This morning, while waiting for my train, I ran into a young man I know. We hadn’t seen each other for a while and as we caught up on things, he admitted the struggles that he faced: to make a real change in his life that would take him away from illegal activities.
He told me about some of his failings and even admitted his fear in telling me: How would I respond? As dissappointing as it was to hear how he’s “dropped the ball” in various areas of his life, it was encouraging to hear him admit it. My own failings came to mind as I said, “many people can’t even admit where they went wrong. So that fact that you can is a step in the right direction because you can’t begin to overcome a problem if you don’t admit what the problem actually is.”
That encouraged him and he continued to share from his heart. “I need to be in church more. When things don’t go my way, I tend to fall back on negative actions. This really messes me up and I know I have to change the way I think.”
GETTING A LIFE TOGETHER
He also talked about the fear of becoming a new father, “I don’t even have my own life together…I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to take care of my own child. That’s why I need to graduate from school so I can get a decent job. I’ve never had a relationship with my father and I don’t want my child to grow up not knowing their father. It’s not right.”
As I stood listening I wondered and prayed, asking God how I could make a difference in this young man’s life. He talked about his love for writing poetry and reminded me that he wants a copy of my book, Transition: Breaking Through the Barriers. He wants to read the poetry, short stories and essays that I’ve been blessed to write about my own life struggles. We set a time when we can get together and talk more about the book.
A POWERFUL REMINDER
Listening to this young man is a reminder for all of us: How do we respond when life doesn’t seem to go our way? In what ways do we sabotage ourselves? Can we admit when we’re wrong so we can truly learn and grow from experiences? Are we taking responsibility for our actions?
The greatest reminder, I believe, is this: we cannot overcome the struggles we face in life - alone. We need each other.
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
Here is a young man with a lot of potential, facing many obstacles- but he’s not the only one. I seem to run into young men on a regular basis who, in their own ways, are calling out for help. My desire is to be in a position of influence to really help them grow and succeed in life.
Do you know any young men in similar situations? What can you do to help? Help them to become serios readers. Why? To help them overcome feelings of despair. Do you know what despair it? It doesn’t happen when we face difficult situations. It happens when we can see no way out of our circumstances. Despair happens when we feel there are not enough resources available to help up overcome. Many of our young men feel stuck and trapped. They want to change but can’t see the way out of their difficulties. Studies show that reading plays a fundamental role in opening up a person’s mind to a greater reality - which can positively affect their decision making.
GIFTING POWERFUL MESSAGES
Many young men may not read on their own, but will take up the challenge if someone else will take time to invest in them. You can purchase a copy of Transition: Breaking Through the Barriers and “gift” it to a young man in your life. It has the potential to impact their life for the better. While you’re at it, buy a copy for yourself and read it. This way you can engage the him in conversation about the truths and realities presented in the book. I know a mother who actually did this with her son who’s in his twenties. They read the book together and discussed it and his life is beginning to change.
Another action step is to help young men become readers and critical thinkers by engaging the literary works of other authors who are writing books that target young men. We do not need to wait for our young men to go to jail, before they learn how to become serious readers. We can help make the difference now.
Actor Hill Harper, author of Letters to a Young Brother, speaks about this very real need - to gift powerful books to our young Black men because they won’t buy them on their own.
“In a recent newspaper article in the New York Post, it reported that we have $500 billion dollars to spend on a “Hip Hop” lifestyle, but what investment are we making in the futures of our youths?… Many of our young men today lack mentors, role models, and suitable males in their lives that can provide answers to their questions… When I was initially trying to get this book published several of the publishers said the same things: ‘It’s a great idea but we don’t believe men of color read, and if they do we don’t know how to reach them.’… I am asking you to help me prove them wrong.”
Our young men need help and it will take all of us to make a difference. Ultimately, the only way to impact another life is to spend time with another’s life. Let’s be proactive in reaching out to young men who are asking for help. You and I can make a difference.
-Allen Paul Weaver III-
Book resources:
The Pact, by The Three Doctors Foundation
The Bond, by The Three Doctors Foundation
The Big Payback, by Cederick W. Tardy II
Letters to a Young Brother, by Hill Harper
Caught Between a Dream and a Job, by Delatorro L. McNeal II
Transition: Breaking Through the Barriers, by Allen Paul Weaver III