Fasting:  To eat very little or abstain from certain foods, especially as a religious discipline.

“You of little faith.  Why did you doubt?”  Jesus said this to Peter, in a “fasting moment” while both of them defied gravity and walked on the water of a raging sea.  Peter had lost foscus on Jesus and had trained his eye on the wind, waves, rain and quite possibly the “fact” that people aren’t supposed to be able to walk on water.  But in the end it boiled down to doubt:  To be uncertain about; consider questionable or unlikely; hesitate to believe. A feeling of uncertainty about the truth, reality, or nature of something. 

Why is this important at the moment?  Because I want to share a recent struggle.  Have you ever fasted?  Not just gone without food, but done so for the expressed purpose of growing closer to God?  Ususally, during a time of fasting one spends time meditating in the Holy Scriptures, commiting acts of mercy to those around them and is in an overall state of prayer - all of this often while most of us are at work on our jobs which can prove to be a distraction at times… but then again how would we ever learn how to focus if we didn’t have distractions?

I find that the longer I live, the more I enjoy eating and when I fast (except on the occasions when I feel God calling me to a specific time of fasting) I discover the stark reality of two Scripture passages that state: “For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: whose end is destruction, whose god is theri belly, and whose glory is in their shame - who set their mind on earthly things.  For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.” (Philippians 3:18-21)  “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation.  The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Mark 14:38) 

Boy is the flesh weak!  And when fasting is a struggle I feel like my god is my belly!  And this is frightening to think that I can’t go from sunrise to sunset without desperately wanting to eat.  It makes me wonder who’s really in control - my spirit or my stomach?  And it’s like my stomach conspires with my mind, appealing to “logic” and then team up against my heart.  Have you ever felt like this at all or am I the only one? 

So I’m fasting the other day and I was in a state of prayer, really wanting to rely on the power of God’s Spirit during this time and amazingly, God diminished my hunger and increased my energy levels - as I continued to be in a prayerful state and focus on His word.  It felt great!  But after a while, I wanted to eat.  I didn’t need to eat, but I wanted to eat.  It was nearing lunch time and my stomach was reminding me of our routine - at lunch you eat food… good tasting food! 

I had a decision to make.  I had already gone more than half the day in a fasting mode/mentality.  I only had four more hours before I could eat.  And then it happened… I was given an opportunity to eat and instead of turning it down… I gave in.  The food tasted so good, but I didn’t feel good.  I tried to rationalize the feeling away by saying I did fast for most of the day.  Doesn’t that have to be worth something?  But this is like a runner who doesn’t finish the race asking for some kind of “12th place prize” for almost completing the job!  We know that’s insane. 

So here I am, having not completed the fast and feeling convicted.  And the next day, as I headed to work, while asking God for forgivness, the scripture comes to my mind, “You of little faith.  Why did you doubt?”  Ouch.  My faith isn’t as big as I think it is and I find myself, like the disciples, asking Jesus - “Lord increase my faith!” 

I always imagine in my mind that when Jesus confronts Peter with the statement and question about why he lost focus - Jesus doesn’t say it so much out of anger as He does with disappointment.  It’s like He’s saying, “You were doing it!  You were relying on me, doing what others don’t understand and consider to be impossible… and then you stopped.” 

I guess the issue boiled down to who and what do I consider to be important in this life that I’m living?  I say it’s God, and in some areas it is, but what about the rest of my life… all the other rooms within me? 

What about you?  How many indulgences do we engage in when we could and should be seeking a closer relationship with Christ?  I had to pray and ask God to increase my hunger and thirst for His Word and Presence - so that my belly will not be my god and that I would truly learn what it means to rely on the power of the Holy Spirit of Christ in any and every situation.  Thank God His mercy is new every morning and that we are reminded that our citizenship is in Heaven.  And even though now our flesh may be weak, Jesus lets us know that the one who overcomes is the one who watches and prays - and there will come a day, if we faint not, when our spirit will be in control of our flesh. 

Let me know what you think. 

Allen Paul Weaver III 

Filed under: Spirituality

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