two hands trying to pull up boots by laces

“Is it possible to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps? Try it. Maybe I’m doing it wrong.”

We’ve been talking about the issue of “self-help”. In this third installment, let’s look at the phrase, “You need to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.”

I have often heard this phrase… as well as the comment, “I’m a self-made individual. Everything I have - I worked for. No one gave me any handouts.” But is this really true? I went and literally tried to pull myself up by my own bootstraps and you know what? It doesn’t work. Now if I was to pull myself up while grasping onto a pull-up bar… well now that’s another story. It would seem, if you and I think about it, that in order for us to be able to pull ourselves up there must be something above us that we can hold onto. This just makes common sense.

In life there is always someone who has gone before us and it is often these individuals who have paved the way for our achievements and will often open the door for opportunities that were previously unavailable. From school, to our jobs to sports and politics (and all areas in between) there is always someone who helps us get a leg up. There is at least one person who looks us in our eyes, sees our potential and decides to invest in our development.

It’s tough to think this way sometimes because we live in a society that prides itself on being able to be independent. We love stories where the underdog comes from nothing and beats incredible odds to rise to the top. Often in these stories, it is the sheer will of the “underdog” character that propells them to victory. But look closely and you will find some other character who opened a door. The Karate Kid had Mr. Miagy. Bruce Wayne had Alfred. Rocky had his trainer. Neo and Trinity had Morpheus. Morpheus had the Oracle. Frodo had Gandalf. The Princess had her grandmother in “The Princess Diaries”… and the stories go on and on and on. Life is not much different.

In at least one moment in our lives, someone spoke life into us in a way that we could only imagine… and we began a new leg in our journey towards our destiny. In many cases the changes were drastic - poverty was overcome by wealth and provision; education was paid for by a kind benefactor; a job was provided where one did not exist - and this combined with faith and true hard work has led to great true-life stories of dreams and aspirations being reached and often exceeded!

I often think about those individuals who have spoken into my life; those who decided to help develop my potential… I also think about those individuals that I turned away and turned away from… those I did not allow entrance into my life because of my own selfishness and limited vision - and how I would most likely be farther along in my journey than I am now. I think about all the times that I wanted to do things on my own - without help - and how many times I failed.

I also think about the times when I needed to learn things on my own - when well-meaning individuals who tried to help only short-circuted the process. Have you ever heard the story about the person who watches a baby chicken try to break out of it’s shell? The person sees how the little chick is struggling and decides to help break the shell away. The chick is released quicker, but what the person didn’t know is that the entire process of breaking the shell was designed to increase the chick’s strength - and so by “helping” the person has actually made the baby chicken weaker.

Sometimes things are like that, where people trying to help only make things worse. I think about when I was stuck in mounds of credit card debt and I went to my aunt and uncle, asking for their help. I wanted immediate release from the weight of the debt, they wanted to help me work free of it piece by piece. I begged and eventually they went against their better judgment and paid my debt, while I promised never to go into debt again. In my mind I wondered why they would let me “suffer” while they had the means to alleviate my pain. In their minds they knew if I didn’t learn the value of money and how to properly manage it, I would be right back in debt again. They were right. In less than two years, I was right back where I didn’t want to be - having not really learned my lesson.

Life is a balance where we must at once accept help from others who can give it and refuse help when we need to learn lessons on our own. Those who are skilled in Mentoring others seem to have this discernment.

I remember being afraid to learn to swim and having a lifeguard pick me up and throw me in a pool that was deep enough for me to be fully submerged, but shallow enough for me to stand up on my feet. When I accused him of trying to kill me and declared his insanity, he smiled and told me that this was the only way to help me get over my fear of water so that I would be able to eventually be free to swim wherever I wished and to enjoy a new reality that I could only observe from the sidelines.

No matter who we are and what we do (or would like to do) we will never reach any place of significance alone. The term “Pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps” means being able to improve your living situation without the help of others. However, no matter how we slice the situation, to do this by ourselves is impossible. At the very least, someone else created the boots and the straps that are on our feet. And at the greatest reality, God created the very life which we seek to understand.

The Bible says that it is “in Christ that we live and move and have our being.” Ultimately, it is God whom we can thank for any ability we possess that enables us to succeed in life. And it is through God’s divine appointments set in our lives, that we often seem to meet the right person at the right time, with the right resources that we need to move to the next level in our existence. One of the questions that we must be concerned with is: Will we be prepared when God gives us an opened door, or will we have missed an opportunity?

Think about those people who have spoken life into your being; those who have invested their own time, energy and resources into you because they can see potential dwelling in you. Then think of ways in which you can do the same for others because no one can pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. We will always need someone above us to reach down and give us a helping hand.

Filed under: Risks and Opportunities • Self-Help

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